Monday, 9 March 2015

Bitter Sweet

Now I don't want the blog to get too Liz Jones, and I have been debating if I should write it at all, but I thought I could maybe make this post quite amusing so whilst you are laughing, I am crying into my porridge.  It's personal and cheesy and you may want to stop reading here!

I'll begin.

I fell really hard for a guy I basically just met.  Really hard.  It makes me sound a bit mental but to use the phrase 'when you know, you know', I knew.  Within the first ten minutes of our first date I thought to myself  'I could marry this guy'.  I have never clicked with someone the way I clicked with him.  He felt like home. (My stomach is churning writing this. Where's the sick bucket?).

(He reads here so I have to be nice now, Hi Charlie!) He is now no longer my boyf. The idiot! He woke up one morning with a gut feeling he couldn't get rid of that it wasn't right and ended it out of the blue. I want to remove his gut and stamp on it, it's obviously not working properly.

Now that I am over the initial shock and embarrassment at losing the guy I thought I would marry in 21 days, I feel OK.  Rather than be bitter and angry, I am super happy that I got to feel that way about someone again.  It's been a LONG time someone has made me that happy (and going my current projections, it'll be another 2 years I'll feel that way again!).  It was a fantastic, hilarious, fun filled and heart melting three weeks - it's made me realise my heart is a little less icy than I thought it was, and that it is entirely possible to fall for a total stranger. (I am no longer crying into my porridge - I am vomiting up into it, so super cheesy).  If I was reading this and it was about someone else, I would call bullshit on it all - I didn't believe in any of this falling for someone instantly lark.  I would also be super furious with the guy - what a dick, right?! But I don't hate him.  I think he's a really great, decent, nice guy and yes I think he's a bit mental and has a screw loose but I don't think he's malicious or a typical shit bloke. I think he's really lovely.  I'm probably a bit mental myself for thinking this.

So for now I will go back to my status quo of single - good job I don't mind it that much. I'll throw myself back into exercise, maybe pick up Spanish again, maybe start researching dropping everything and pissing off to New Zealand again. (It's funny how things work out - the America trip had become a hindrance with a boyfriend in tow, but now he's gone it's actually perfect timing).  I don't think I'll go back down the online dating route just yet - I think I want to avoid men altogether for a bit - they seem to be a bit flaky and useless really.

I'll also add to and try and abide by my Rules of Dating (I have broken the first one three times now, whoops)

1 - Never date a guy with an unusual name
2 - or anyone called Steve
3 - Never profess to people you're going to marry the guy you just started dating as you'll look like a nutter when it ends
4-  Don't bloody blog about the guy until you're safely married otherwise you'll look like a nutter when it ends
5 - Maybe just don't date?!

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